torstai 31. maaliskuuta 2011

not me

First: I've had a bad day. It calls for internet whining!! YAAAAAAAY WE ALL LOVE PEOPLE WHO ANGST ON THE INTERNETS, DON'T WE?!

I'd just like to escape my own thoughts. But it's impossible and it feels horrible. I'm stuck inside of my head. It's a cage one can't break out of.

I feel like they don't need me now. No place for me. Not for now.

My head's a big mess. It hurts hurts hurts. Oi, medicine. My guilty pleasure.

Sometimes I feel like I'm no human at all. I think I don't behave like the others. Maybe I'm a robot. Or a species of my own.

I'm violent. I'm impulsive. I'm childish. They don't even know me.

I just wish I had a switch I could turn off. My mind would go all blank and I could be in peace for a moment. All black and silent... No pain, there's nothing. Just wonderful silence and peace of mind.

I want to live. I want to lay on the springlike, bare ground. And just inhale.... exhale.

Oh man, I can't even describe how I feel right now. So, end of story.

sunnuntai 27. maaliskuuta 2011


My bf's still sleeping so I thought I could write something about yesterday.

First of all, we went to watch Black Swan. And what a movie that was. I still can't say if I liked it or not or if it was good or not. (Heh, I missed all the big happenings because I had my eyes closed...) All I can say is that when the movie ended and the credits began to roll I was speechless. And for a moment I was just all silent. Then I started crying. I've never cried in cinema before so that was... something new. I dunno if I should recommend Black Swan or not. Let's say if you want to see a movie that's unpredictable, Black Swan's for you.

Yesterday was also Earth Hour. I love it! It's such a nice event, I feel so connected with people. This was my 3rd of 4th Earth Hour. We lit some candles. It was too romantic for me really :''D I kind of secretly hoped for it to end since sitting in the candlelight... Yeah, even it was way too romantic for me xD

We lit a lot more candles than these. Like 14 or so.

Ta-dah! A crappy picture taken in a dark place but HEY, I burned my hair! Curse you candles :D It was a bit of a shock to see your hair burning but afterwards I was like "Cooool!" xD But it smelt AWFUL! : D

Please, Somebody Else,
make to choice for me,
because I alone
am too weak.

torstai 24. maaliskuuta 2011

they're coming here at the Speed of Darkness

My day has just been made.

Flogging Molly is coming to Finland! And not to a summer festival, but a gig of their own. I'm O V E R J O Y E D. ♥ This will be the first time I see my absolute favourite band live. And all know that Flogging is at it's best on stage!! I CAN'T WAAAAIT !!

Now I just need company!! Feel free to join me! The tickets are 39€ and the gig is 12th August in Kaapelitehdas, Helsinki. They will start selling the tickets on next Monday the 28th!!

AAA I can't wait!!!

...too bad I can't go and see SOAD perform in Provinssirock.

But now I should go find a thermometer. My Flogging Molly fever is rising, rising rising!

maanantai 21. maaliskuuta 2011

don't ship me down the water

I feel like posting something but don't really have anything to say. So umm...

WATERSHIP DOWN. HOLY SHIT. I was so fucking afraid of it when I was a kid and when I watched a clip of it now it really shocked me. It was worse than I remembered!! I can't describe this feeling but I really really REALLY am shocked of it ;___; I can't agree with one website saying "Wherever you are in the world, if you mention the words 'Watership Down', you are sure to raise a smile." ;___; I'm traumatized! Hard-time!!

Today is the "Respect Tits"-day xD So I wanna say; I like tits.

I got a summerjob!!

This is pure idiotism:
It's about a girl who was bisexual but then found God and was "cured". And the campaign says things like "Don't give in to the pressure of the society!" and "Make your own choices!" and "Be free!" and then it says that you should seek the answers from Bible only and that being bi or gay etc. is wrong. What a bunch of hypocrites.


Japan is a very dear country for me and it saddens me to see my Japanese friends helpless. Please help the Japanese! Via Red Cross or something. ;__;

Hmm. I got my cable from Kibi! Now I can transfer my photos from my cell phone to the computer 8) Hallelujah!

...and now I can't find it.

AAAA THE FUCKING WATERSHIP DOWN............. Fuck shit. I can't take this anymore!! AAA ;__;

Okay I'll try to calm down. It's hard.

Here's Helsinki for you. I want a better camera.

BTW! We are currently working on a Ginga Nagareboshi Gin/Silver Fang/Hopeanuoli- musical. If interested check our Facebook-group "Hopeanuoli!musikaali" or send mail to hopeanuolimusikaali [at] : D We need actors! Singers! Dancers! People! Dogs! Whoever who wants to help! ^^

Well, that's all folks!


keskiviikko 9. maaliskuuta 2011


Possessiveness is interesting.

Since I've adopted the Holstee Manifesto as some sort of guideline for my life I decided to buy a violin my friend offered me and I'm gonna learn to play it! One of my new friends at school promised to help me with the basics :)

She doesn't want to lose them.
Do they feel the same?

I got my 80 cents/cup coffee today !! It was the best mittens I've ever had.

"This mess in my head
is a mess getting out."
King told the empire,
what the girl had to say.

Teehee, today started a course which I've been waiting for! We are doing a play for children/teenagers! I'm so excited!!

She wants to apologize,
but can't.

tiistai 8. maaliskuuta 2011



Today is my happy day. There are four things that have made me happy today.

1. I got 10 from art! It's the best grade one can get so I'm very happy : D It's veryvery rare for me to get 10 so... Chocolate ice cream for celebration! I also got a couple of sweet grades as well so last period was a gooood one : )

2. I found out that the store close to our school sells hot chocolate for 80 cents/cup! Oh God, I'm so gonna visit there more often...

3. Somebody was reading "Le Kalevala" in bus today. It was somehow funny. Made me smile.

4. Pokémon Black. I've been playing away!!

Today is also Women's Day... I couldn't care less, but because of it we had a very interesting panel of equality in our school. That led me to think (once again):

Who in this age really speaks badly of other people, people they don't even know?
C'mon! We're in high school already and still people behave like elementary schoolers. If you speak badly of someone stop to think for a while; has this person really done something to deserve all the criticism? Do you just simply follow the stream, "because everyone else think like this, I'll think like this too"? Why can't people dress funnily or behave differently? Just walking through the city makes me almost mad; I just hate to see lots of people who all look the same. Where is personality? Why do strong personalities get hated? Even though they are good persons? Some people don't dare to be themselves. Some people have the courage; they just lose it after being criticised so much. Even little things can take away a person's dream. And you have no right to do that.

Students want teachers to treat them equally. They want to be treaten equally, but why won't they treat equally?
I know that it's one of teacher's resposibilities to treat students equally, but let's forget about that for a moment. Student's don't treat teachers equally, they're actually worse when it comes to behaviour. Teachers are humans too, you know? Also, students have to treat fellow students equally too. Life is about give and take.

You, who just don't have the courage to show your true nature; do you really want to keep living like that?
You cannot please everyone and you only have one life. Do you really want to live hiding? Let yourself free. Show the world what you've got! Some people might not like you, your clothes, your behaviour, you opinions; but so what? They're not just right people for you to hang around with. Or maybe they just need to learn to be more tolerant. The world has many people and you'll be sure to find like-minded persons who will accept you just the way you are.

Now I'm off to play Pokémon in my panda-pants! And heck, I'm "almost adult" : D

ps. As you might've noticed (heh) I changed the layout! Someday I'll draw it myself.

Don't hide yourself in regret,
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way, yeah!

torstai 3. maaliskuuta 2011

pandas are tolerant, let's be pandas

You might think "OMG What are those hideous panda-pants?!" but I love them and that's all that matters

OMG tomorrow they'll release the new Pokémon games Black & White in Europe!! I try to get mine asap!! Just like three-four years ago when they released Diamond & Pearl I kept an eye on the progress via, this year I got all my information from Poké! It's a really good site! You'll probably have to read my following Pokémon posts when I get the game... x'D

keskiviikko 2. maaliskuuta 2011

today I failed & discovered

I found this while Stumbling. Love it ! Stumble Upon is a real treasure chest for me.

I wanted to eat meringue so I made meringue-strawberry muffins. They failed, as usual :'D My old classmate told me that only "abomination" could describe this culinary contumely : D

This picture is just so wannabe that it makes me smile :'D Had a lot of fun doing this. "Right now, unwilling to go & to die, live your own way" says the text on the background. I wrote it quickly and from scratch. I got the inspiration from here.

Needless to say, this picture was inspired by the SOAD song "Cigaro". And I know it's "we're" not "were". xP

And now close your eyes if you don't want to read my conceited text...

...I was once again pondering why am I not particularly good in a certain thing like singing or drawing etc.. Then I realized that, hey, I'm good looking. I don't mean I'm some Miss Universe but a decent one. That made me feel happy but also a bit disappointed. I'd like to be good at things I love. I've gotta keep practising! But maybe I'll never be satisfied, no matter how good I get. It's funny...